Brighter day

Although rainy, today is going to be a much better day. I'm so happy that Catherine, Michael, & Olivia are coming to see us for Easter! What better time for hope to rise again? Thank you also to all my friends & family for your support and love. Everything is going to be ok.

Well, back to cleaning and laundry! :)

Can I officially freak out now?

My guts are in my throat. And my left thumb has developed a nervous tick... it keeps sporadically twitching, twitching, twitching, and I can't stop it. It will start even as I'm trying to relax. Today, I found out that I'm signed up to really produce, and fast.

March -- Chapter I
April -- Chapter II
May -- Chapter III

Defense August.

I feel like I've just been told I have 6 months to live. Or rather, at the end of 6 months it will be decided if I should live.

Words just cannot explain how nervous and utterly scared I am. I'm really, really scared.

Yet... at the same time... there's this weird sense of relief at having an "end" in sight. There's a strange sense in which I also want to celebrate if it means this long, long labor might be over in half a year. But that sense doesn't quite compete with the mental trauma right now. AHHH! Holy crap!

Seriously, how do I do this?
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