To my daughter on your first birthday

Alaura,

Hi sweet baby.  Congratulations on your first ride around the sun.  365.25 days and what you've accomplished.  I think if babies weren't everywhere, there would be more than merely astounded moms & dads.  That we learn to breath, drink, poo, cry, laugh, eat, babble, recognize faces, smells, places, things, experience existential crises, roll, sit up, stand, balance, say first words, and walk-- from a tiny red ball with fingers and toes -- to an individual with wants and thoughts.  In One year.  
  
I hope you had a good first birthday.  It's hard living away from family and friends to celebrate with us.  But lots of family and close friends called to say they were thinking of you.  On Sept. 16, 2012 we had a little party for you.  Jackie from next door stopped by and gave you a dolly.  Jessica, Paul, and Harrison came to play.  You liked doing the parallel play thing.  Your brother liked running around screaming and trying to eat ALL the brownies Jessica brought.  I made you a blueberry, banana, and oatmeal cake.  It was more like a healthy muffin, which is fine.  I even used wheat flour and no sugar.  But I owe you a decadent chocolate cake.

After your party, you played in the sandbox with Jonathan and got completely dirty.  Then you and I came inside while the guys worked outside.  We took a bath together.  The water warmly comforted you; you were tired from all the excitement.  You curled up on my tummy and placed your head over my heart.  And I just held you and let you sleep on me with a wash cloth covering your side.  I watched you breathe and tried very hard to memorize your baby face in the evening sunlight: the water on your cheeks, the red-pink sheen to your lips, the flicking of your eye lashes while you dreamed.  We stayed that way together for about an hour.  I felt it was some way of re-experiencing what it was like before you were born, when we were still one.  This time with you near your first birthday was rewriting history for me.  It was like giving birth to you again, in a peaceful, painless, happy moment.  You woke up and just smiled in the little cocoon I made with my arms, and we breathed together.  Over this year, I have felt some hints of regret when I think back to when you were first born because I didn't get to hold you for quite some time.  It still bothers me a little.  But something about it, in my imagination will now be replaced by the memory of us happy and warm, all snuggled up together in an intimacy that only finds life between a baby and mama.  

I will always see you in that moment Alaura, even when the end will wash over me, I'll hold onto you and the good it was bringing you into this world.

Who you are at 9 months old

 My dear daughter,   You're sweet.  (Absolutely yummy in fact).  All the goodness in the whole world taken shape, made pink and chubby, joyful and loving, chirping and babbling.  Since you were born you've had this depth of gentleness in you that I adore.  All children do, but it's your dominant feature.  Maybe it's because I'm your Mama that I see it so easily, but sweet baby, how I love the goodness of your soul.    


What you're doing these days:  On June 13, 2012 you were playing with the music train, just sitting there.  I turned around to put a dish in the sink.  When I looked back, you had pulled yourself onto your feet and were standing there wobbling -- looking so proud of yourself, especially when Mom made a happy screech and flew to you, some absurd mother-bird that made you giggle.  


You are crawling (proper) all over the place.  Sometimes you even bear crawl.  Your 8-month-old army crawl has definitely grown up.  


You love your brother.  You've laughed for Jonathan since you were a tiny baby.  Now you've begun to go after toys your brother is playing with, garbage trucks, etc.  You've started to play together (a little).  Jonathan gets upset when you knock over his trash cans.  He tells you "No, no Alaura."  But he loves you too.  Every time he tells a story he starts with "Once upon a time, Mommy, Daddy, Jonathan and Alaura...."  You are always included.   


Schedule-wise, you wake up and play with you pink lovey doll around 6:30-7:00 each morning.  Sometimes before Jonathan gets up and comes into the bedroom to snuggle, I will hold you and we will both half-doze back to sleep.  You take a mid-morning nap around 9:30 or 10:00.  Usually you play then until 12:45 to 1:30, when it's time for the afternoon nap.  Today you fell asleep in your highchair after eating bananas & strawberries.  I let you feed yourself mostly.  You really enjoy your food.     


Recently you've started to mimic me when I make a funny sound with my hand over my mouth.  It's quite cute.  And you are starting to babble more sounds.  We have "B" and "M" among them.  Recently I swear it sounds like you're calling me:  mammma.  


And that first tooth is finally making her appearance.  It's right there about to pop through, which makes me a little nervous.  I remember how much it hurt when Jonathan would bite while nursing.  And I know you are super sensitive to even the softest rebuff... let's just hope it goes well.  Heavens knows there are many ways a mother proves her love, and breastfeeding a baby with chompers takes some real mama love and courage.               


But loving you is easy.

Love my kiddos

There's always so much I want to write about the kids.  But at the end of the day, I'm usually so tired I just don't.  I can't believe Jonathan is almost two years old.  And then I see what a big, strong, beautiful boy he is, and I wonder that he was ever a tiny infant.  He seems to have come fully made as himself.  Right now he loves garbage truck videos on Youtube and playing Recycling truck with cups full of other toys he dumps into the truck.  He calls them "dump trucks."  He also loves going for walks and touching "numbers" on houses.  He  knows 1-10 and 100.  He also has the concept of counting and numbers because he understands asking for two candies is more than one, and asking for three is even better.  He loves his mommy too.  He says "hold you" and reaches up his arms to me a lot. He also likes to play "green piggy" where he pretends to feed the squeaky pig plastic Easter eggs.  Then he tries to put them on the pig's nose, which the pig doesn't like.  That's fun. Today it was nice here, so we spent a lot of time outside.  He liked running and kicking through the leaves in the front yard.  Jonathan is my big amazing kid. 

Alaura is my sweet princess.  I never much liked calling little girls princesses, especially when it seems to designate a whiny, spoiled type.  But she is a princess in terms of her kindness to mom and dad.  She smiles so sweetly.  The other day it just made me cry she looked so beautiful, gentle, and loving.  She got her 2 month shots today.  She is handling it well, but needs some comfort from mom.  So, off I go now to my girl.  P.S. She is up to 13.2 lbs. and 23.25 inches and 40.2 cm head circumference. So growing well.

My daughter

Our daughter joined us September 17, 2011.  Alaura Rochelle Taylor was born at 3:23 p.m. weighing 9 lbs. 7 oz. and  measuring 22 inches long. She is an infinitely sweet girl.  Over this month of getting to know her, I have fallen in love with what I can only describe as her immense goodness.  I love my daughter.