So Chic

I found this and thought I would share.

Apparently the song doesn't play for some, so here are the lyrics:

It's so chic to be pregnant at Christmas

I feel like the "round yon virgin" of yore,

'Cause though I have a warm bed to sleep in

There's no room for me when I go to the store.

'Cause the aisles are so narrow and crowded--

Christmas shopping has never been such a pain (gasp)

Here comes another Braxton-Hicks contraction

And I'm knockin' over knick-knacks again.

Oh, the salesclerks are so friendly this Christmas

One said, "Oh God, lady, don't have it here--"

Their discretion and manners go right out the door,

When I and my stomach appear.

People like to put their hands on my fundus,

And they want to know exactly when I'm due

I say, "Why do you care? Are you planning to be there?

I could use an extra labor coach or two!"

I am such fun at a party

Trying hard to get high on life

Desperately avoiding the smokers

Being introduced as someone's "little wife" (Not-so-little wife).

No, I enjoy being pregnant at Christmas

Though my identity is draining away

And if I ever get asked my opinion again

I'll simply smile and continue to...crochet?

It's so Biblical to be pregnant at Christmas,

No matter what stories you believe.

And I may suffer from gravid senilis...and heartburn and nausea and charlie horses and overwhelming fatigue...and frequent micturation and varicose veins and...swollen ankles and shortness...of breath...and that...tired, achy feeling in the grooooooin...

But I won't be alone on New Year's Eve!

Fa-La-La-La-La La-La La La!

It looks like this song is from an album called "Momnipotent," which includes other humorous selections:

1. I'm Babbling
2. It's So Chic to be Pregnant at Christmas
3. Memo to Droola
4. Child on Board
5. Suzy Money Gone Away
6. Everything Turn to Ratshit in My Life
7. Momnipotent
8. Stroller Ladies
9. Daughters of Feminists
10. Leonard Cohen's Never Gonna Bring My Groceries In
11. Mammas Have a Secret
12. The Children's Entertainer
13. Open That Can

What's making me laugh today

Hopefully they will make you laugh too, if you like seeing things that are SO bad... they become sort of delightful.

I thought these were both funny in their own L'Unique ways. The first one is the Eurovision entry from Georgia that was declined because of its "political" subject matter: "We Don't Wanna Put In" (the political part is not their spelling of "wanna"). Hey, at least Georgians have an entertaining sense of humor about disco and war.

The second one I found while amusing myself looking at other Eurovision videos. I can't watch it without cracking up, especially the beginning. The "performance" of this song (also found on youtube) was equally awful/funny.

* Please note, you may want to avoid this video if you object to seeing any of the following: partial nudity, a woman's breast exposed; sexual content/suggestion; violence/ cheesy battle scenes; a weirdo doll face; a horse falling over (but it seemed to be ok); or the use of little people in strange costumes for no apparent reason. Ok, I think I've covered everything in this disclaimer.

Apocalypse: Werewolf Congress

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Glenn Beck's War Room

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Joke of the Day

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Doom Bunker - Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore

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It's difficult to decide what I love more: making fun of Glenn Beck, the joke about Gargamel, or the fantastic doomsday scenarios.

Stupid people getting you down?

Just laugh and maybe sing.

Tonight we watched Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. I thought the songs were the best part. I really like "The Galaxy Song." Sadly, I've also got the song "Every Sperm is Sacred" reproducing itself over and over in my head-- very catchy tune. And seriously, how could anyone not love the lyrics to "Oh Lord, Please Don't Burn Us"?

Lyrics to "The Galaxy Song":

Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown,
And things seem hard or tough,
And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft,
And you feel that you've had quite enough,

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour.
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.

The sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
Are moving at a million miles a day,
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars;
It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side;
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick,
But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide.

We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point,
We go 'round every two hundred million years;
And our galaxy itself is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
In all of the directions it can whiz;
As fast as it can go, the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is.

So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth;
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!

Lyrics to "O Lord Please Don't Burn Us":

O Lord, please don't burn us.
Don't grill or toast Your flock.
Don't put us on the barbecue
Or simmer us in stock.
Don't braise or bake or boil us
Or stir-fry us in a wok.
Oh, please don't lightly poach us
Or baste us with hot fat.
Don't fricassee or roast us
Or boil us in a vat,
And please don't stick Thy servants, Lord,
In a Rotissomat.
Amen.

J. Alfred Colbert?

Colbert talking to Elizabeth Alexander about the inaugural poem and J. Alfred Prufrock...

http://www.comedycentral.com/colbertreport/full-episodes/index.jhtml?episodeId=216591

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. / I do not think that they will sing to me."