Mr. James

Lots of Henry today. "Jolly Corner," which until yesterday I always thought was "The Jolly Coroner." I just mainly wanted to share this image from it:

"...the sense of the hard silver of the autumn stars through the window-panes..." (713).

Well, back to the monster. There's also something appropriate about following a blog about pies with Henry James. Did you know he hired a fencing teacher to address 'symptoms of a portentous corpulence' (Complete Stories 932)?

Pies

Green Bean Recipe

So, we were never very big on the whole "green bean thing" in my family, but I decided to try this recipe today.

J.D. and I are celebrating a "spread-out" Thanksgiving. Yesterday, I baked my first ever pumpkin pie, which turned out decently. Today I made some green beans with a recipe that is healthier than the cream of mushroom versions. I liked it; and J.D. ate a small plate full, which I think mostly was to appease me, but he said they were "OK." He also said: "It's very green beany." Which, I'm trying to decide if it was the actually recipe or just the fact you can only disguise a vegetable so much.

2 lbs. fresh green beans (I didn't use a full 2 lbs.)
1 envelope Italian Good Seasons salad dressing
2 tsp. Extra virgin olive oil.
2 tsp. fresh Parmesan.

Boil green beans, remove while still crisp.
Mix beans with olive oil and seasoning.
Spray pan with Pam and cook at 350 for 20 minutes.
Add Parmesan cheese over top for last 5 minutes.

Thanksgiving Shopping

I actually enjoyed shopping yesterday. Usually the people are pushy and insane, but we went at 8:00 p.m. on a Monday, so it wasn't too terrible.

J.D. was in a really happy mood, and that made me happy too. Although, my favorite moment was right after we got our cart and were looking for vegetables. I went to get some onions and asked J.D. to track down celery, which he did. We decided to get more than one package for the turkey and stuffing, so he went back for more. When he came back the second time, he looked at our cart, which I had left sitting-- and seemed confused.

"Is that one ours?"
"Yes."
"Where's the celery?"
"I don't know; where'd you put it?"
"I guess in somebody else's cart!"

My dear sweet husband, putting celery in other people's grocery carts.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to fixing all this fun stuff... just for J.D. and me. Thanksgiving for two.

Why I love you

You share the tasks and joy of everyday life with me.

You still work when everyone else ditches early.

You always leave a cold Diet Dr. Pepper out for me when you restock the fridge.

You always try to finish your book's chapter before going to sleep.

You are my indisputable friend.

You eat wheat bread instead of white for your peanut butter sandwiches.

You are all I really need.

It also helps that you love me too.

In the Garden again

Finally Fall

S M R T... as Homer Simpson would spell it

I saw my friend rated her blog's reading level, so I did too. It's fun. I also think it's bullshit; you most certainly do not need to be a genius to read my blog, maybe just a little above-the-curve to get something out of it.

Well, I better go do some damn "Genius" writing elsewhere, where it counts.

Tacky Hiatus

This week is "Visiting Writer Week"... (ugh).

Today was especially weird. So, it's 10 after... I'm looking around thinking "Is this person coming or what?" I decide to go ahead and begin class with our traditional word of the day activity. I write two words: "Tacky" and "Hiatus" and began explaining their respective etymologies at the front of the room.

Then suddenly the door is flung open and a petite woman with streaked blond and black hair bursts into the room yelling:
"I'm SO sorry I'm late!"

She then turns to me: "OH, I don't know what you were doing; were you teaching a lesson? Were you explaining about the visiting writer?"

"No, I'm just going over our words for the day."

"OH, OK, I'll go find a bathroom then; is there one nearby?"

"There's one upstairs."

(Door closes)

My students look at me a little shocked, and one of them asks if I knew she was coming today.

"Yes, but I didn't know she was going to make that kind of entrance," as I mimic her frantic entry into the classroom: "OH, I'm SO sorry I'm late!"

We all laugh and decide that "Tacky Hiatus" on the board rather describes the situation we just experienced.

p.s. Did you know that "Tacky" only used to refer to inexpensive horses or ponies?

Omniscient... maybe not

From The Onion:
http://www.theonion.com/content/newsbriefs/thirdpersonlimited
Third-Person Limited Omniscient Narrator
Blown Away By Surprise Ending

"PROVIDENCE, RI—The third-person limited omniscient voice, a narrative mode used to convey a story through the thoughts and senses of a literary character, was reportedly 'caught totally off guard' after the main character was unexpectedly killed in the last chapter of the new novel Bertram's Way. 'Holy shit, I did not see that coming. Did you see that coming?' the disembodied literary device said on page 367 following the last paragraph of the novel. 'Man, right in the head!' The popular narrative method said it would try to pay closer attention when utilized in the book's planned sequel, Bertram's Revenge."

This made me laugh and reminded me of something I used to think when I was a kid. I wanted to read or write a book where the main character died on the last page, right in the middle of something mundane, like grocery shopping or walking around a corner. And you'd never know what happened, the book would just be over. I always thought there was too much security in the narrator, and it just wasn't true to life. I was, and still am, a weird kid though. But this was my big idea when I was about 10. Maybe this tendency also explains why I don't believe in an omniscient god? I was a little Nietzsche-Barthes and just didn't know it.

P.S. I only said "omniscient"-- although it does apply to a couple other omnis too: omnipotent among them. But I'm still holding out on the omnibenevolent one, which to me is most important anyway, although even that one is certainly up for grabs.

Shitty Draft

I read a segment of Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird online today, the part where she discusses shitty first drafts. She is writing mostly about fiction, but it applies to all writing. However, her argument isn't exactly "ground breaking." I figured her basic premise out the first year of graduate school, that sometimes I just have to make myself sit down and write... no matter what comes out... usually it is shit.

But this current beast is a nightmare. It won't end. It's HUGE. I'm all over the place, and it's as depressing as hell. (I wrote "hello" first). Yes, it's that depressing too.

Furthermore, no one cares.

Who cares? I'm wasting my life writing shitty essays that only my 3 advisers will read, and that is, sort of read. What's worse, this paper is consistently spurring my nihilism, which has been growing steadily since late September. I guess the truth is that I don't know how else to waste my life. I guess it doesn't matter. Shitty papers at least are something at the end of the day, until they're recycled, composted, or burned.