Sophie vs.The Peace Lily

The beautiful peace lily that Catherine and Michael gave us a couple of years ago has become Sophie's nemesis. In the beginning, J.D. didn't want to take care of the plant, but I did. Now Sophie has joined forces with her father to see the plant eliminated from the household.

Since she is largely over her cold now, she has been far more adventurous. Yesterday she attacked the plant and was very peeved when I wouldn't let her bite the leaves. Today, every time I look over there, she's attempting to sneak around and fiddle with it. She knows this is "bad," but I suppose she is just exercising her cat nature and trying to get away with something naughty.

However, if she tries eating it again, I'm afraid it will be adieu for poor Spathiphyllum. I've found it listed as a houseplant that can be poisonous for pets.

Is anyone is looking for a lovely peace lily. . . ?

I protest Everything, but this!

Oh my god, do we have a pampered little girl on our hands. Miss Sophie insists on being held and cuddled like a baby. This morning she woke J.D. up at 6:00 a.m. by crying. He was worried about her sneezing and breathing, so he took her into the bathroom to run the shower. While in there, she cried and cried. He let her out to walk around, but she cried. He pet her; still she cried. J.D. offered food, water, treats, toys -- all to no avail. She wasn't having any of it. Then I tried holding her like a baby. Instantly, she was quiet. We put her down. Crying commenced. J.D. picked her up, held her like a baby, and rubbed her belly... and magically all was well with the world. J.D. then said Sophie's motto is: "I protest Everything, but this."

What is this "cable television" of which you speak?

Ok, so some minor news. Believe it or not, J.D. and I got basic cable installed this morning. To friends that know us well, I understand, this is probably a little shock. Just be assured, we still do not own cell phones. (We haven't gotten there yet).

The basic cable came with an Internet speed upgrade, and it's free for a year (after which we'll cancel it), but hey, at least now we can see the channels we do watch. And, get this, evidently with cable you don't need rabbit ears! Who knew!

I just love the reactions from people when they ask if we want a cable upgrade or one of the billion different packages they offer. They seem so incredulous when I simply say "we don't have or want cable." Although, the best reaction was from a woman promoting a cell phone deal. She inquired who our "current provider" was. I said "I don't own a cell phone," and she seemed both shocked and horrified. The world really tries to convince us that we NEED this and we NEED that... oh, how can one survive without a million channels? I'm sure we'll probably get a cell phone someday, when it makes sense. I do see the ways in which they're very handy.

As for our new basic cable, ultimately, now I can watch the Weather Channel and worry about people in Idaho! Yippee! Let the 24/7 party begin.

New addition--Sophie

This is Sophie. We recently adopted her from the Humane Society. She's 5.6 pounds, definitely the smallest cat we've ever had. She's only 9 months old and still growing, but she'll probably never be the size of Figaro or Marley. Anyway, Sophie is a cute little girl who likes to meow when we say her name and when we pet her. (A talkative cat was a requirement of J.D.'s). She is also very sweet. (A requirement of mine). She likes to receive pets on her belly, head, chin, etc.

Since we brought her home she has had a head cold. Yesterday she spent most of the day hiding in the bathroom or under the daybed. The poor little girl was sneezing all day and had to breathe through her mouth. We made the bathroom humid in order to help her breathe more easily and gave her medicine from the vet.

Today she's doing much better-- although last night she gave me a real scare. I woke up and realized she was right by my side, under my arm. I thought I'd smothered her. Thank heavens that didn't happen. She's perfectly fine, but she really likes to sleep close to J.D. and me, so we're going to have to watch that and train her to move so she doesn't get accidentally flopped on by mom. J.D. only flips over, like a pancake, so that's not a problem; it's just me who likes to move around. Anyway, she is a really good kitty, and we're happy to have her in the family.

Spring Break

Well, spring break is over. Back to work. It was nice having time off with J.D. We enjoyed visiting family and friends and hanging out.

During the week we saw There Will Be Blood at the Tivoli. I wanted to see The Rape of Europa-- about Hitler's plundering of European art-- but I'll have to catch that one on video. TWBB is ok, not great. Also, it's not a movie to see if you have a slight headache, the music is jarring to the extreme, intentionally so, I'm sure.

We explored historic Lafayette Square and got in-touch with St. Louis' French heritage. In the process, we discovered a nice restaurant called Squire's, where I had a tasty crab cake and salmon sandwich. I know it sounds a little odd, but it was good. Then J.D. and I strolled around Lafayette Park and saw Harriet Hosmer's statue of Senator Benton. The park also has three cannons from the British man-of-war, the Acteon (sunk in 1776).

We journeyed to Peoria and visited Angela, Ryan, Abby, and Riley. We had Christmas in March and played the card game Guillotine. Abby and I designed paper doll dresses, and J.D. liked expending some energy raking leaves. (We look forward to the day we can take care of our own yard and garden. I know it's a lot of work, but when you are used to it and don't have it... you actually miss it. Also, I have seedlings growing that I have no idea where I'm going to plant them.) Overall we had a great visit.

And we capped it all off when we drove to Chicago to see Catherine, Michael, and Olivia. We were able to go to the Museum of Art, free of charge thanks to Catherine's smart thinking. We saw the Homer and Hopper exhibits. We also enjoyed Joy Yee's, where J.D. got to have eel and octopus. Most of all, it was a lot of fun seeing our friends and playing a couple games.

Tea for Two

I have to say, I had a really beautiful birthday. Thank you so much to everyone for making me feel loved. Thank you Chad for the first message of my day. Thanks Lora for the sweet card, and my sis Candice for the call. Thank you Catherine for thinking about me. Thanks Dad for singing Happy Birthday on the answering machine; I really enjoyed your improvised lyrics. Thanks Mom for the flowers I look forward to growing. Thanks John and Connie for the earrings and well wishes. Most of all, thanks J.D. for spending the day with me.

The first part of 2008 has been hell, but today reminded me that quite a few people still care that I'm alive, and that's a good feeling.

J.D. waited for an hour today while I got my hair done. Then we went for High Tea at the Ritz. It was really fun and opulent, but I must admit, the tea sandwiches were so cute, delicate, and tasty. We tried cucumber, egg salad, salmon with caviar, and a type of asparagus prosciutto. Each was garnished beautifully and only a bite or two. The scones were heavenly with whipped butter and honey. J.D. enjoyed the blackberry preserves. There were also several desserts: fresh berries, chocolates, shortcakes, carrot cake, and a special birthday lemon meringue tart. Some of the berries and chocolate had edible gold leaf. J.D. tried the blue sapphire tea, but I went with the traditional vanilla. Most lovely of all, we sat nestled by the fire. The picture shows what the room would look like full of tables, but there weren't that many. Also, we were near a slightly different fireplace, in a more intimate corner of the room. Anyway, while there I did honestly feel guilty for such pretensions to aristocracy, and it could never be a life style I endorse, but it was lovely for one afternoon of make-believe.

After lunch we bought Gruyere and Emmental, French bread, and white wine. Around 8:00 tonight J.D. prepared fondue, and he gave me a truly beautiful love letter over dinner. Today reminded me that there are things to enjoy, and there is hope to be had. Loss empties us because we love, but love fills us again and gives us back life.

Snowy, Slovenian Kind of Day

Observations:

Snow. 8 inches. Walking to the post office I became a snow person. Vandalized by nature. Can you imagine how incredibly beautiful it would be if we could see each snowflake? Sometimes I think about that. We'd go insane from beauty, from detail. I made a miniature snowperson and set him to live by my back door on the stairs. He melted the next day by noon. Nothing was left but his two twig arms and tiny black rock eyes.

Slavoj Žižek. On campus. Talking about Christ knows what. Seriously, about God as the "Big Other." About Freud, Lacan, Kant, Deleuze, (oh god). Good thing I read Interpretation of Dreams last fall. I think I need to read more of those "Big Others" too. Speaking of loving one's neighbors, but usually that only happens when our neighbors look like us, think like us, agree with us. (No news there). He's a very animated man when he speaks. He gestures wildly with his hands and keeps nervously touching his nose. I wondered if he had a cold. He despises counterfeit interest in other cultures, and to prove it, he quipped: "Oh, St. Louis you have a f---ing Arch." He's an obscene man and proud of it. He enjoys dirty jokes, mostly at women's expense, which he also points out. In spite of his infatuation with his philosophical star status, there was an interesting moment when he said Christ's message was "I cannot accept the guarantee of all horrors, but only turn myself into the suffering creation." Then I realized, I was happy sitting there.

Mladen Dolar. Sidekick. Responding to Žižek. He is also from Ljubljana University. He is truly Žižek's foil. He read a lecture on Freud's Irma dream, presenting six different psychoanalytic readings. Talking about hysteria, he spoke in a low, slow, clear, concise voice. Not like Žižek's jerky movements, flashy, nose-grabbing style. Dolar sat perfectly still, hands folded, calmly reading. Not superstar but professor. There aren't any movies about Dolar.

"Lost in Translation"

In the Merrill archive class we've been discussing Agassiz's teaching technique of dumping a basket of bones on a table and leaving the students to sort them. It's similar to the type of intellectual sorting one does in a poem. (Connective links here: Brower, Whitehead, and Merrill's puzzle). But the last lines of "Lost," strike me as beautiful, whether or not we "figure out" the puzzle; the thing to notice is always beauty.

Lost, is it, buried? On more missing piece?

But nothing's lost. Or else: all is translation
And every bit of us is lost in it
(Or found--I wander through the ruin of S
Now and then, wondering at the peacefulness)
And in that loss a self-effacing tree,
Color of context, imperceptibly
Rustling with its angel, turns the waste
To shade and fiber, milk and memory.

2.20.08

Night and you lengthen yourself
out in a long curl, bend and sigh at my
light touch, breaking the heaviness
of dying.
At 7:43, our time, the moon
begins to wrap herself in Earth's shroud.
I pull the blanket tighter to your body.
You kick out.
Confinement isn't the point.
Inch-by-inch the inner shadow spreads.
Your breathing comes in sharp
notes-- gasps, rasps. My every nerve
shocks in response, although I fight

not to jump, I cannot stop.
The moon has entered her blood red phase.
She floats resplendent in blocked sunlight.
I try to think of a lullaby.
I sing disjointed, discolored sounds to you,
notes that carry, waver, and sink.
You turn and look up at me,
and I hear the last rush of your breath
escape into the eclipse.