Love my kiddos

There's always so much I want to write about the kids.  But at the end of the day, I'm usually so tired I just don't.  I can't believe Jonathan is almost two years old.  And then I see what a big, strong, beautiful boy he is, and I wonder that he was ever a tiny infant.  He seems to have come fully made as himself.  Right now he loves garbage truck videos on Youtube and playing Recycling truck with cups full of other toys he dumps into the truck.  He calls them "dump trucks."  He also loves going for walks and touching "numbers" on houses.  He  knows 1-10 and 100.  He also has the concept of counting and numbers because he understands asking for two candies is more than one, and asking for three is even better.  He loves his mommy too.  He says "hold you" and reaches up his arms to me a lot. He also likes to play "green piggy" where he pretends to feed the squeaky pig plastic Easter eggs.  Then he tries to put them on the pig's nose, which the pig doesn't like.  That's fun. Today it was nice here, so we spent a lot of time outside.  He liked running and kicking through the leaves in the front yard.  Jonathan is my big amazing kid. 

Alaura is my sweet princess.  I never much liked calling little girls princesses, especially when it seems to designate a whiny, spoiled type.  But she is a princess in terms of her kindness to mom and dad.  She smiles so sweetly.  The other day it just made me cry she looked so beautiful, gentle, and loving.  She got her 2 month shots today.  She is handling it well, but needs some comfort from mom.  So, off I go now to my girl.  P.S. She is up to 13.2 lbs. and 23.25 inches and 40.2 cm head circumference. So growing well.

My daughter

Our daughter joined us September 17, 2011.  Alaura Rochelle Taylor was born at 3:23 p.m. weighing 9 lbs. 7 oz. and  measuring 22 inches long. She is an infinitely sweet girl.  Over this month of getting to know her, I have fallen in love with what I can only describe as her immense goodness.  I love my daughter. 

10 Year Anniversary

 I should have posted these a long time ago.  These are from June 16, 2011, our 10th Wedding Anniversary.  We had a family picnic at Shaw Nature Reserve by a lake and under some Bald Cypress trees.  Jonathan loved running around and playing with his Dad.  We went for a walk to see the lily pond, but Jonathan started having a fever, so we went home.  Later when he was feeling better J.D. and I did go to dinner together. 

38.2

At our appointment today her heartbeat was baseline 150-160 with spikes up to 180, which the doctor said looked really good. It won't be too long now. We're buying time. Come on natural... I just hope my water doesn't break in the middle of class. That would be a bit odd, to say the least. I've decided if it does, I'll hide behind my desk instead of making a mad dash down the entire hallway to the bathroom. Safer and less messy probably. It's strange the things you think about at this point.

Mom & Son day

Today Jonathan came running into the bedroom and immediately handed me my glasses, saying "glasses" and "up, peas." Which means "Mom, get up please."

J.D. had helped him out of bed. (J.D. has a cold, which is lousy, but I really, really hope Jonathan and I manage to escape it. Knock on wood).

Yesterday morning Jonathan and I ate pancakes at his little table. Today we just had cereal. But I decided to go for a walk since it has cooled down so much. We walked down the Loop, and Jonathan even wore a jacket because it was windy and in the 60s. It felt like the first fall day.

We saw Jackie before leaving; Jonathan ran over to give her a hug. Once on the Loop, we strolled to the over-priced baby store. Jonathan was about asleep, but he woke up when he heard other kids. He enjoyed playing with a toy piano. But he loved the trucks: a firetruck, dump truck, flat bed with a car, and a recycling truck. The dump truck was purple and pink. A man who worked there came over and commented about the purple dump truck, saying "That's what I want." I agreed it was cute and that Jonathan liked it a lot. (He liked all the toys). After awhile I asked Jonathan which he most liked, and he selected the recycling truck. The man came back over and said, "I have different colors of the dump truck in the back." I assured him that Jonathan already had dump trucks, and really I wanted something more like a garbage truck for him anyway. I don't have a problem with my son wanting a purple and pink truck... if he had wanted it most, we would have bought it. When we went to pay for it, I couldn't pry the recycling truck out of his hands. So the lady just looked it up on the computer.

Then we stopped for FroYo. I put lots of fruit on the yogurt to justify it for lunch. Jonathan was mildly interested in the yogurt, but mostly he loved sitting there on the bench, driving his new truck back and forth. He played with it all day today. He calls it "Cycling Truck." He put rocks, a water bottle, bits of paper, and even part of his dinner (fish sticks) in it tonight.

This evening J.D. went to game night, so Jonathan and I blew bubbles on the porch and then went for a walk around the block. He picked up trash along the way to throw in the garbage. (I should know it comes from marrying and having children with an Eagle Scout). Finally we made it home and had dinner and watched silly t.v. for awhile. Jonathan brought over the Costco size box of sunflower seeds and liked putting his head next to my mouth for me to "crack" them.

For bedtime he played with his truck a little, then flipped through the Dinosaur book for 15 minutes, played some with the flashlight (which I use to transition from full light). Then he commented about the numbers on the clock and did his "word review" of the day to himself. Finally he quieted down, and I held him while I listened to his breathing become more pronounced, and he was asleep. Now he is in bed, and J.D. is still at game night. And I'm rambling, but I will probably go sit in the warm bathtub for awhile. It was a good day.

P.S. Jonathan says "No" a lot now. I'm working to get him to at least say "No, thank you." It makes it easier to deal with for me. Every time I reminded him today he did say "No, tdank u."

Almost there

Just writing to myself about my feelings.

Tomorrow I will be 38 weeks. I'm amazed at how quickly the time has gone. I'm happy things are going well, and I really want to get to 40 weeks. So far my blood pressures are hanging in there, and everything seems to be going ok. I know a lot of women really complain about late pregnancy and can't wait to deliver. This third trimester is very awkward and painful at times, but I tend to personally want to give baby as much time as I possibly can. That's just my strong personal feeling. Certainly there are medical reasons to deliver earlier. And I'll be totally honest; I also like sleep. Even disturbed, restless pregnancy sleep is better than waking every 2 hours to breastfeed. But I'm growing very curious to meet and hold little girl too. To see her face and see Jonathan and J.D. hold her. I'm a bit sad at the soon (temporarily) lost ability to go for hours to school or the library. Everything is a mixed emotion. Even with Jonathan I was both relieved and sad to stop nursing. I would have nursed him a lot longer if my milk had not dried up from pregnancy. But it also gave me a big boost in freedom, and it was not a difficult weaning process as he just gradually lost interest. It will be tough teaching this semester, but I know J.D. will help me. We'll make it through. I'm very very lucky to have my great husband, sweet boy, and little girl.

Well, back to work while I can.

Garbage Cans

Jonathan's newest thing is a revival of an old thing, walking down the alley and touching the side of the dumpsters. He has loved this activity since he was old enough to walk. Now, he has rediscovered his garbage passion. He tells me he wants to "walk" and points to the backdoor.

Yet, he does not want to put on his shoes without crying and protesting. Once we do go to the alley, he happily walks down the middle of the lane and says "walk, walk, walk" to himself. Then each dumpster he touches either the "O" in "NO" or "Only" and says "O," or he likes to touch the number "1" for the first of the month, and he usually says "one." Sometimes I have to remind him. He also likes to say "A," but I usually have to help him find the "A" in "YARD." Today we started practicing on the recycling bins with "R," which he seemed to learn well since they look different than the regular dumpsters. He also loves to say "one, two" like counting. So I comfort my 9 months pregnant self that he is learning something while we walk the alley in the August sun. My little explorer, happily touching garbage cans.

He wanted to keep going for more than an hour today, up and down the alley. Finally I couldn't do anymore, so he had to be carried crying into the house, and after a 15 minute tantrum he fell asleep in my lap. I should really go to sleep now, both guys are in dreamland. Days are long and repetitive. Today I found myself wishing there was someone I could call for a few minutes to give me a break, but I'm pretty much on my own when J.D. is at work. And sometimes I marvel at the freedom and time I wasted before. Yet, I was lonely, and now I have full days of doing and helping, which is better. And I would give the whole world for Jonathan, tantrums and all.

Very Pregnant and Chasing a Toddler...

Is hard. I worry Jonathan isn't getting enough stimulation. Some days are just difficult. Today we watched Cars probably too much. I feel guilty about him watching t.v. He did get to play outside in the water and mud, until bugs started coming around. Then we went through a long ordeal for him to nap. He is resisting his stroller rides for nap time. He has learned he can stand up and play. This makes life a lot more difficult for me. I did put him into his crib for "quiet time" at least, but that involved throwing toys mostly. I got brained with a two-headed dragon. Ouch! That thing from J.D.'s childhood hurts. Then Jonathan giggled, and it brought tears to my eyes, so I just got up and left saying "nice boys don't throw toys." I closed his door and went to sit down for 5 minutes. He eventually started crying, after about 5 minutes of which I went to get him. Then he finally agreed to relax in my arms until he fell asleep, sniffling and crying a bit. I'm already tired and wonder what on earth I'll do with two. Some days are like that. But usually the next day is better. God grant me patience and endurance on a massive scale.

Our Daughter's Profile

Looks like she probably has the Watterson nose. :)

We had a regular check up today. Everything looks good. She measured in at 3 lbs. and 4 oz. Her heartbeat was 148 bpm, and it increased as we listened, which the doctor said she probably woke from the noise of her own amplified heartbeat. I saw her face quite a bit during the ultrasound. She looked a lot like Jonathan to me.

Hello baby girl. We already love you. Your brother smiled when he listened to your heartbeat.

Yes, that's my kid

This picture reminds me of quintessential Jonathan, my happy, sweet boy.

Today was hot here. Hot and muggy. This summer is going to melt me.

The day started at 7:00 a.m. when I walked to Wash U to room supervise the SAT. Testing took forever today because it was the Reasoning test. J.D. and Jonathan surprised me by walking to the school. We walked home together and then went to a neighbor's backyard potluck.

Jonathan had a great time running around with other kids. He is very outgoing and affectionate and wants to play with everyone. He gets a little too excited. One boy was 22 months old. Jonathan ran toward him with his arms out for a hug, and the other toddler started crying. My little Sagittarius is definitely a free-spirited extrovert & I love him.

There was a green football he ran around the yard holding while exclaiming "Ball!" He also enjoyed getting into the recycling bin, the cooler, etc. He found cups of water left unattended and carried them around. He wanted to carry around an empty beer bottle, but that wasn't happening.

They had two small chickens in a coop. Jonathan liked inspecting them. He smiled and laughed at the chickens. Then later, once dinner was served, I offered Jonathan a piece of BBQ saying, "Here, have some chicken." So he runs over to the chicken coop and bends down to point at them. "Not those chickens sweetheart."

After awhile we were so hot and tired we wandered home. J.D. and Jonathan sat on the couch with their shirts off. We just sat there and all enjoyed the cool air and the episode of Futurama about grad school and evil cats trying to take the Earth's orbital spin away.

Busy, hot, but good day.

Envy and love

Going through the Divine Comedy again. What does it say about me that my favorite tends to be the Purgatorio? The Paradiso is certainly grand and lovely, but something about the earthly Purgatorio attracts my feeling more. Perhaps it's because I don't know what it's like to live in perfection; I only know what it is to strive to be better.

At the center of each, the Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso, Dante calls attention to a key concept about that place. In hell the center is a vast void, basically following the line of thinking that sin is a "lack" of goodness; it is emptiness. Sin makes humans less (which is basically the premise of all the souls in hell; they have chosen to be less than what God created in them). When we sin, we decrease our humanity and our potential.

At the center of the Purgatorio is one of my favorite concepts from the Divine Comedy, something quite reflective of human nature. Up the spiral of Purgatory, as the sinners repent for their flaws in life, they must work their way through the seven sins, or whichever applied to them. The souls in life that were envious repent by having their eyes sewn shut. (That's not the part I believe). But the point about sewing their eyes shut is so they cannot see and be envious of others. Envy or "invidia" is better understood in Dante as wishing others misfortune or feeling ill will toward someone. It can be in terms of material things or immaterial. For example, if I felt envious of someone's new car, I would secretly wish for it to have problems. Then I would experience satisfaction and perhaps even joy at the bad luck of the buyer. That's envy. And to Dante, it is one of the darkest sins because it wishes for pain and failure in the world.

The sinners doing penance for envy cure their hearts by feeling charity or love toward others. The antidote for envy is good will. It is a focus on what can be shared and increased, rather than what is limited and depleted. I may want a new car for myself, but if someone else gets one and I don't, I do not wish any harm toward the person. I am happy for him or her. I do not see another's gain as a failure to myself. I realize that life is not a zero sum game where I am trying to win while everyone else loses. Instead, feeling charity tends to focus on things that are increased by giving. Knowledge and love are two things that do not diminish when you share them. If you teach someone something, you don't lose what you knew. Instead two people now have that valuable information. And as with love and affection, the more you give, the more is created and even returned to you. That's the dynamic of charity and the dynamic of moving toward heaven. It's something I wish was more common in the world.

Jonathan

Jonathan,

You are such a sweetheart. I love you so much son. Recently you've been surprising me everyday with something new you learn. Today we opened one of your books and you pointed to the letter "O" and said "O." Then you went and found the blue "O" from your alphabet mat and brought it to me. All of this happened with no prompting or asking from me. I just hope I can nurture all your curiosity and wonder about the world. I hope you'll always love learning new things Jonathan.

I also wanted to record some of the things we do on a random day. Today you woke up at 6:00 a.m., which is pretty normal. Usually it's between 5:30 and 6:20 a.m. I brought you into the big bed from your crib. You like to lie down between Daddy and I for a few hugs in the morning. You also love to pull on my bra straps, and say "BoBra" or "Brabra." That's usually how you wake up and go to sleep now that you're weaned. It's pretty funny. But sometimes I wish your Dad could put on a bra to give me a break from all the strap pulling and tugging.

After snuggles you usually crawl off the bed by yourself to watch Dad go downstairs, laughing and waving until you can't see him anymore, and then crying or fussing to go downstairs too. So we do. Today it was raining. When Dad opens the door, you usually want to go outside. Today we played on the porch with your trucks and some paper. I balled up scraps of the paper, and you loaded them into the truck bed. Eventually you threw them down the stairs & all over the place. Then we had breakfast and watched a little Super Readers together; you sat on my lap. We read and played ball a little. You played with your toys and chased cats. You ran and hid in your tent. Your toy train came to find you. This was very hilarious, and you laughed. We watched the fire truck video on Youtube that you love. We went outside and walked in the alley. We played in the garden a little, but it was quite muddy. Then we went out front and ran up and down the hill. You splashed in a puddle and enjoyed it when I splashed too. You rolled yourself down the hill over and over.

I was getting tired by this point and got your stroller. Within two or three blocks you were asleep. I carried you up to your bed. You had a short nap of an hour and a half today. Some days you sleep three hours, but most days two hours. After your nap you were in a happy mood, so we played with toys and stuff in your room. You got into the closet and reorganized the wrapping paper. We read stories on the big bed. We played with beads. Then it was lunch time. You ate an egg and some cereal & milk. We played and played and then your Dad came home. You helped Dad bring in the groceries and unload the dishwasher. You ate a good dinner and went to sleep with only a little bra pulling and tossing around at 8:30 tonight. Now you and your Dad are sleeping, and I'm thinking that's not a bad idea.

I love you, Your rather tired Mommy.

J.D.'s Victory at 'Ard Boyz

J.D. recently won round two of the 'Ard Boyz Tournament. He placed first at both rounds. He got a 3,000 point army for winning and a ticket to Minnesota for the final round. Go Ogre Kingdoms!

The Cutest Cardinal

Saturday, May 14, 2011 we did the heart walk at Busch Stadium. The best part was walking the track with Jonathan. He was dancing, waving at people, and generally having fun.

I think he looks like the pitcher in this shot. He has that determined gleam in his eye and seems to be sizing up his competition. J.D. pointed out, he also has the long pitcher hair out of his cap, which is *much* cuter on Jonathan than most pitchers.

Father and son.

Here is Jonathan dancing. (Also my five and a half months pregnant self).

We're having a baby GIRL!

We're having a girl! Here are some of the ultrasound images from yesterday May 6, 2011. We are really thrilled around here. J.D. and I are so lucky to have Jonathan and this little girl on the way.

Everything looked good. Her heartbeat was 160 bpm. She touched her ear with her tiny fingers while we were watching and rubbed the back of one of her legs with her opposite foot.

After the ultrasound we went to a play date for Jonathan with his buddy Wyatt. Then we went shopping, and I had to buy something pink. :)

We ended the busy day by working outside. I planted some marigolds and petunias while Jonathan splashed happily in his water table, and J.D. raked leaves.